Pretty much what the title says, really.

So, last time we talked a bit about Pwyll and Rhiannon’s wedding. A couple of years go by, and things are pretty awesome. There’s just one small wrinkle: Pwyll has yet to knock Rhiannon up. This is a bit upsetting to Pwyll’s court, since they’ve been married for some time and have yet to produce an heir.

They’re so antsy, in fact, that they want Pwyll to divorce Rhiannon and marry someone else in the hopes that she might be a bit more fertile. Pwyll, not being a giant asshole, tells them no, and that they should just be patient. This turns out to be the right call, as a year later Rhiannon gives birth to a baby boy.

After the birth, Rhiannon is taking a well-deserved rest, watched over by her six handmaidens to make sure nothing happens to her or the baby. Unfortunately, they fuck this up almost immediately when they also fall asleep and wake up some time later to find the baby missing.

They naturally freak out because they just lost the heir to the throne, which comes with a high probability of beheading. That’s when one of the handmaidens comes up with a baller idea: they’ll go and kill a puppy, smear the blood on Rhiannon’s face and hands, then tell everyone that she ate the baby.

So they do that, and Rhiannon wakes up and asks where her son it. The handmaidens are like, “Don’t you remember? You got up in the night and started snacking on him. We tried to stop you, but you hulked out and were too strong.”

Rhiannon calls bullshit, and decides to get her husband involved. He takes in the story and says, “Sorry, honey, but you are covered in blood. But don’t worry, I won’t divorce or execute you. Instead. you’ll have to spend every day of the next seven years standing outside the castle telling people how you ate our son, then offer to give them a piggy back ride to the castle.”

Rhiannon’s like, “Thanks, babe, that’s really awesome of you.” Probably while rolling her eyes at the whole thing.

Meanwhile, Teyrnon, the lord of southeast Wales, is having himself a bit of a predicament. See, whenever one of his horses gives birth, the foal disappears mysteriously. So this time, he decides that’s he’s going to hang out with the mare while she gives birth to try and see what’s going on here.

Sometime after the new foal is born, a giant claw comes in through the window to grab it. Teyrnon manages to fend it off, forcing it to drop the foal as well as a bonus: a newborn boy.

You can probably see where this is headed, but hang with me.

So Teyrnon and his wife take the boy in, name him Gwri Wallt Euryn, and set to raising him along with the foal. It soon becomes apparent that there’s something weird with Gwri, since he seems to be growing unusually fast. As in he’s the size of a seven-year-old by the time he’s four. He also starts to bear a strong resemblance to Teyrnon’s buddy Pwyll. Realizing this, Teyrnon and his wife realize that they should probably give him back to his real parents.

So they head to Pwyll’s court at Dyfed, where they run into Rhiannon, standing outside the castle on a mounting block. She tells them about the baby eating incident, before offering to carry the three to the castle. “Uh, no thanks,” Teyrnon says. “Also, I think I might have some good news for you.”

They head into the castle, where they present Gwri in front of the gathered court and says to Pwyll, “I think this belongs to you.” There is much rejoicing, and the kid is renamed the far more pronounceable Pryderi.

And that, folks, is why you shouldn’t fall asleep during guard duty.

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