Hello! I’m back from my brief blogging hiatus and ready to dive back into the world of Egyptian mythology. Today, I shall tell you the tale of Isis and The Seven Scorpions.

So, this is sometime after Set killed Osiris, but before Isis swung by and brought him back. Set decides that imprisoning Isis is a great idea, and traps her in a spinning mill. It should be noted that Isis is pregnant at this point, and that the resulting kid is destined to grow up and kill the shit out of Set.

Needless to say, if Set finds out Isis is pregnant, things will go quite badly for her.

But Thoth does our girl a solid and breaks her out, giving her seven scorpions as protection. Isis then disguises herself as an old beggar woman and sets out on her way.

Along the way, Isis comes to the house of a rich lady named Usert and asks to spend the night. Usert, seeing an old beggar lady with half a dozen scorpions is like, “Haha, no,” and slams the door in her face.

To be fair, I probably wouldn’t want a bunch of venomous arachnids in my house either, but it’s still kind of a dick move. It’s all good, though, because a poor fisher woman ends up taking her in for the night.

The scorpions, though, are a bit salty over the snub, and decide to take a little vengeance. By putting all their poison into one of the scorpions and having them sting Usert’s kid. Who didn’t have anything to do with Isis being snubbed and isn’t mentioned in the story up until this point.

Anyway, Usert is now freaking out because her kid is dying, and runs with said kid into town, begging for help. Isis hears this, and, presumably after throwing some shade at her scorpions, runs to the mother’s aid and heals the kid. Usert, upon realizing that the beggar woman was, in fact, the most important goddess in the whole pantheon, decides to give her property to the fisher woman.

And the moral of the story is don’t be an asshole, or scorpions will sting your children.

(Hello again, readers! This is the part of the post where I tell you about my Patreon, Ko-Fi, and PayPalpages where you can support the blog if you wish. It’s kind of important to me right now because I will be moving at some point within the next year, and need money for security deposits, fees and what not. Any money sent by Ko-Fi and PayPal, and a portion of my Patreon funds will be going towards that goal. So, if you could give a little, I would be super appreciative. Thanks!