Back to Norse mythology this week, while I weave you the tale of how Thor went fishing one day and brought up fucking Jörmungandr.

We start off with the gods arranging a big-ass feast with these two giants named Aegir and Ran. Aegir and Ran are perfectly amenable to hosting said big-ass feast, but with one caveat: they need to bring a kettle large enough for them to brew enough mead for everyone. There is a little hitch to this, though, because they don’t have one of those.

They do know a guy who does though: a giant named Hymir. The gods decide to send someone over to ask him nicely if they can borrow his kettle. Unfortunately, the one they send is Thor. You know, the one not exactly known for his social graces.

Hymir, who’s been appraised of Thor’s arrival, slaughters three bulls. These three bulls are supposed to last the entirety of Thor’s stay.

Thor eats two of them in one sitting.

Hymir is pretty pissed off by this, and tells Thor that if he wants to eat tomorrow they’re going to have to do some fishing. Thor agrees, and the next day the two of them head out on Hymir’s boat.

While they’re out, they manage to catch two wales. Thor’s like, “Hey, this is awesome! Let’s go out further.”

Hymir, though, is like, “Um, no, further out is Jörmungandr and I really don’t want to have to deal with that shit today.” Surprisingly, this does absolutely nothing to deter Thor, and he rows them out even further.

So they’re in the area the giant serpent is supposed to be and Thor starts a-fishin’. And, of course, he brings up Jörmungandr from the depths. Thor’s like, “Fuck yes, I’m gonna fight it,” but Hymir, who is smarter than Thor, cuts the line and lets the snake go free.

This pisses Thor off, so he throws him overboard (where Jörmungandr presumably eats him), grabs the two wales and kettle, and then leaves. It should be noted that in some versions of the tale, Thor brings the snake aboard the ship and kills it, but that version doesn’t really tie into the Ragnarok story, since Jörmungandr is one of its harbingers.

So the moral of the story here seems to be don’t get in between Thor and a fight.

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